Belief

I was looking through old posts on Song of the Moment, and read my post about "Breakaway", by Kelly Clarkson.   I had said that I felt as though no one listened, and no one was supportive.  I referred specifically to my dream to sing on American Idol.  Then I realized -- actually, now, there is someone who's been supportive, and said,  "You can do this! I believe!"  Thanks for that -- it means a lot. :)

I slam the door
Can't take this any more
All the put downs and
Derogatory words
What is so wrong with dreaming
And reaching for the stars?

Chorus
Life is hard
Be realistic
I've heard it so many times
Sick and tired of it
All I want you to say
is "I believe in you".


And now I'm gone
Living and loving it
All on my own
You didn't thiink that
I would be able to survive
But take a look at me now


Life is hard
Be realistic
You said it so many time
Sick and tired of it
Why couldn't you just say
that you believe in me?


But now he's here
Caring, supportive
All you never were
Turns out I don't need you
but just someone who believes


Go for it
Reach for the stars
All that you could never say,
Stuck in your realism
But now I just need him to say
that he believes in me

Still, I have to ask
why'd it have to be him?
Why couldn't you just say
That you believe in me?


So I know this has no consistent form...i'm just spitting my thoughts out.  Ideas for revisions are welcome!

Some Old Songs

Not in the mood to write right now, but here are some old things I wrote...back in June and July, I think.  All of them were written when I was still dating Dakota...


HERE FOR GOOD


I look at you
Your eyes like gold
In the sunlight
See myself reflected in them
And know I’m loved
But am I really
Ready to fall
Ready to let go
To see you standing there 
and speak not just words
but actual truth, when I say

Come what may, 
I’m here for good
Never letting go
I love you so,
So who cares what they say,
I’m here for good. 

You look at me
Say don’t worry
Forever and always
Won’t just be a great dream
But our reality
But I’m so scared
I’ve lost too much
How can I ever really believe?
Can’t help but wonder
If we can really beat the odds,
And be able to say

Come what may, 
I’m here for good
Never letting go,
I love you so,
So who cares what they say,
I’m here for Good

I look at you
See myself in your eyes
And wonder what you see in mine
Then take a deep breath, 
And suddenly know
I’m ready to fall, ready to let go
Finally ready to say 

Come what may, 
I’m here for good
Never letting go, 
I love you so, 
So who cares what they say? 
I’m here for good. 

I’m here for good…


MISSING YOU -- written while Dakota was at National Blue Beret, during the last two weeks of July.  I think it was the last song I ever wrote for him...  


Wake up in the morning
And I’m thinking that
It will be a great day
Then I remember 
That my day won’t end
With a sweet note from you
But with tears
As I wish you were here

Oh how I miss you
Our midnight talks
And sweet kisses
Dreams of the future
Oh why is it so hard
To be missing you?

Go about my day,
looking forward to night,
when we can talk,
and I can unwind
Then I’m remember
How far you are
And I barely hold myself together

Oh how I miss you
Our midnight talks
And sweet kisses
Dreams of the future
Oh why is it so hard
To be missing you?

If I could,
I’d board a plane tonight
Just to see your face
Rest in your arms again
Someday, but not now
So until then

Oh how I miss you
Our midnight talks
And sweet kisses
Dreams of the future
Oh why, oh why is it so hard
can’t hold on much longer
I don’t think I can stop
Missing you.  

MOVING ON -- written about how Dakota helped me move on from McKay

Take a deep breath
I need to do this
But that doesn’t  
Make it any easier
I walk up to you
Say we need to talk
Breathe in and out
Tell you it’s over
Then walk away

What was I thinking
Letting you go?
How did I not know
There’d be no moving on?

Six months later
Still hurts to think of you
But then I find
An answer to prayer
One who truly cares
Who really loves me,
For who I am,
Not who he wants me to be

What was I thinking?
Holding on so,
So long to you, 
And just now moving on?

He holds me close
I rest in his arms
And in the peace
Of a heart whole once more
I know what I need to do
And it’s so easy:
Just never let go

I know what I’m thinking
Holding on to him
And thank my heart
For finally moving on

Moving on from you. 

SECRETS - I'd planned to tell my parents about Dakota and I in March of 2013...on my birthday.  However, I was terrified to see how that would turn out.  This is me reflecting on secrets and  kinda imagining how the conversation would start...Not one of my best songs though.


Driving home from school
Reliving that moment
When you said ‘I love you’
Then I pull into the driveway
Take a deep breath
Push those thoughts aside
No place for them here

And then I’m at the dinner table
they ask about my day
I tell them a few things
They ask if there’s more
and I think to myself
Just me and my secrets

You take my breath away
Never felt this before
This unending love
It fills me to the brim
But there’s no one to tell
So I just keep it to myself
And sit quietly

And then I’m at the dinner table
They ask about my day
I tell them a few things
They ask if there’s more
And I think to myself
Just me and my secrets

Can’t keep it in anymore
Feel like I’ll explode
How long can I do this?
And then you’re here
Talking to me
Saying it’ll be all right

And we’re sitting at the table
We talk about our day
They ask if there’s more
And we look at them and say
Just us and our secrets.