Found it!

So I finally found that short little song/poem/thing that I mentioned in my first post.  Ladies and gentlemen....Tomorrow.


Tomorrow
Will it ever come?
Must I keep waiting?

Tomorow
Will time keep its pace?
It goes by so slowly

Tomorrow
So many things I'm waiting for
Not knowing is so hard

Tomorrow
Will it ever come?


Hoping to expand it into a real song....

Belief

I was looking through old posts on Song of the Moment, and read my post about "Breakaway", by Kelly Clarkson.   I had said that I felt as though no one listened, and no one was supportive.  I referred specifically to my dream to sing on American Idol.  Then I realized -- actually, now, there is someone who's been supportive, and said,  "You can do this! I believe!"  Thanks for that -- it means a lot. :)

I slam the door
Can't take this any more
All the put downs and
Derogatory words
What is so wrong with dreaming
And reaching for the stars?

Chorus
Life is hard
Be realistic
I've heard it so many times
Sick and tired of it
All I want you to say
is "I believe in you".


And now I'm gone
Living and loving it
All on my own
You didn't thiink that
I would be able to survive
But take a look at me now


Life is hard
Be realistic
You said it so many time
Sick and tired of it
Why couldn't you just say
that you believe in me?


But now he's here
Caring, supportive
All you never were
Turns out I don't need you
but just someone who believes


Go for it
Reach for the stars
All that you could never say,
Stuck in your realism
But now I just need him to say
that he believes in me

Still, I have to ask
why'd it have to be him?
Why couldn't you just say
That you believe in me?


So I know this has no consistent form...i'm just spitting my thoughts out.  Ideas for revisions are welcome!

Some Old Songs

Not in the mood to write right now, but here are some old things I wrote...back in June and July, I think.  All of them were written when I was still dating Dakota...


HERE FOR GOOD


I look at you
Your eyes like gold
In the sunlight
See myself reflected in them
And know I’m loved
But am I really
Ready to fall
Ready to let go
To see you standing there 
and speak not just words
but actual truth, when I say

Come what may, 
I’m here for good
Never letting go
I love you so,
So who cares what they say,
I’m here for good. 

You look at me
Say don’t worry
Forever and always
Won’t just be a great dream
But our reality
But I’m so scared
I’ve lost too much
How can I ever really believe?
Can’t help but wonder
If we can really beat the odds,
And be able to say

Come what may, 
I’m here for good
Never letting go,
I love you so,
So who cares what they say,
I’m here for Good

I look at you
See myself in your eyes
And wonder what you see in mine
Then take a deep breath, 
And suddenly know
I’m ready to fall, ready to let go
Finally ready to say 

Come what may, 
I’m here for good
Never letting go, 
I love you so, 
So who cares what they say? 
I’m here for good. 

I’m here for good…


MISSING YOU -- written while Dakota was at National Blue Beret, during the last two weeks of July.  I think it was the last song I ever wrote for him...  


Wake up in the morning
And I’m thinking that
It will be a great day
Then I remember 
That my day won’t end
With a sweet note from you
But with tears
As I wish you were here

Oh how I miss you
Our midnight talks
And sweet kisses
Dreams of the future
Oh why is it so hard
To be missing you?

Go about my day,
looking forward to night,
when we can talk,
and I can unwind
Then I’m remember
How far you are
And I barely hold myself together

Oh how I miss you
Our midnight talks
And sweet kisses
Dreams of the future
Oh why is it so hard
To be missing you?

If I could,
I’d board a plane tonight
Just to see your face
Rest in your arms again
Someday, but not now
So until then

Oh how I miss you
Our midnight talks
And sweet kisses
Dreams of the future
Oh why, oh why is it so hard
can’t hold on much longer
I don’t think I can stop
Missing you.  

MOVING ON -- written about how Dakota helped me move on from McKay

Take a deep breath
I need to do this
But that doesn’t  
Make it any easier
I walk up to you
Say we need to talk
Breathe in and out
Tell you it’s over
Then walk away

What was I thinking
Letting you go?
How did I not know
There’d be no moving on?

Six months later
Still hurts to think of you
But then I find
An answer to prayer
One who truly cares
Who really loves me,
For who I am,
Not who he wants me to be

What was I thinking?
Holding on so,
So long to you, 
And just now moving on?

He holds me close
I rest in his arms
And in the peace
Of a heart whole once more
I know what I need to do
And it’s so easy:
Just never let go

I know what I’m thinking
Holding on to him
And thank my heart
For finally moving on

Moving on from you. 

SECRETS - I'd planned to tell my parents about Dakota and I in March of 2013...on my birthday.  However, I was terrified to see how that would turn out.  This is me reflecting on secrets and  kinda imagining how the conversation would start...Not one of my best songs though.


Driving home from school
Reliving that moment
When you said ‘I love you’
Then I pull into the driveway
Take a deep breath
Push those thoughts aside
No place for them here

And then I’m at the dinner table
they ask about my day
I tell them a few things
They ask if there’s more
and I think to myself
Just me and my secrets

You take my breath away
Never felt this before
This unending love
It fills me to the brim
But there’s no one to tell
So I just keep it to myself
And sit quietly

And then I’m at the dinner table
They ask about my day
I tell them a few things
They ask if there’s more
And I think to myself
Just me and my secrets

Can’t keep it in anymore
Feel like I’ll explode
How long can I do this?
And then you’re here
Talking to me
Saying it’ll be all right

And we’re sitting at the table
We talk about our day
They ask if there’s more
And we look at them and say
Just us and our secrets. 

Open for Discussion

No, that's not the title of the song.  I can't think of a good title, so the title is open for discussion.  Anyway -- this is based on an experience that happened...recently.


I look at you
You glance at me
and I wonder
f you're thinking
what I'm thinking

You look away
And break the spell
Guess I was wrong
You really don't
Know me that well


Chorus:
Why couldn't you see?
I thought I made it clear
But I won't whisper it in your ear
I'll just wait for you to see
that I wish you'd kiss me.



The movie ends
We walk away
Your hand in mine
The moment gone

We reach  my car
I grab my keys
Slightly tempted
to play with them
And see if you
would get the hint


Chorus

I won't wait forever
Hoping that you'll see
And finally make your move
So please, make it soon
Don't want to scare you away
But I want this so desperately


Hope that now you'll see
I'm making it so clear
Won't whisper it in your ear
So please, won't you see
that I wish you'd kiss me.


For those of you who have seen Hitch: yes, the line about being tempted to play with my keys is loosely based on that scene in the movie... :)

Back Then

So here's the song that I was attempting to write a couple days ago...maybe I just needed to say good-bye one last time.  Now though, I'm beginning a whole new chapter...though there will be echoes from the past.


Sitting next to him
His arm around me
My head on his shoulder
Time seems to fly

He gently squeezes my hand
Tracing designs on my palm
And suddenly I'm swept back
To a different time and place

Chorus:

It wasn't him back then
Sitting by my side
Whispering sweet nothings
In the middle of the night
But those days are dead and gone
Never to return
I have to live in the moment
And let myself move on


The memories return
Just can't hold them back
And suddenly a tear
Falls from my eye

He gently strokes my hair
And tells me it's ok
That he will never hurt me
But that just makes it worse

Because...
Chorus


Have to do something
Will not be held back
By all that's in the past
When what I have now
Is so much better than back then
I will not think about
The day's that have gone by
But focus on today, here, and now.


No...
Chorus.

I have to move on
 

Wasn't Worth It -- Revised

I'l also be using this blog as sort of a journal, to keep track of how my songs change.  I hope this will also be helpful to my readers - I hope that being able to see where I've come from will help you give additional insight in your comments.  If you liked the original way something was worded, or don't like something I've added, you'll be able to say exactly how you wish it was instead.

That being said: Revision 1 of "Wasn't Worth It":

I still remember the day
you asked me to write you
I had my heart on my sleeve
And just couldn't say 'no'.

We'd each sworn to always
be there for the other
Said if something happened
We'd never move on


Chorus:
Got one thing right
I'll never be the same
But was it worth it
Giving my heart away?
When I didn't really mean it
All those times I said
Not going anywhere; I'll be here
Forever and always.

Guy's Part:
I was out of town
Reaching for another dream
How could I have predicted
that I'd never see you again?

So I let my own needs
Be what pulled us apart
Never saw the separation coming
Until it was already too late


Chorus


You'll always be with me
As one more thing on the list
of all those things I would change
Want to hold on, yet want to forget

 (Girls/Guys part)
But now you're gone/  So now you're gone
Never to return/  Never to return
And now to my surprise/ It took me by surprise
I find that I've moved on/ But still I can't move on


So I got one thing right
I'll never be the same
But it wasn't worth it
Giving my heart away
Since I didn't really mean it
The countless times I said
Not going anywhere, I'll be here
Forever and always

No, it wasn't worth it.

Wasn't Worth it

It's funny how the thing you want to accomplish with a song can change as you begin to write it.  I started writing this song to describe how I'm over my ex and like someone else now...instead it turned into simply another, different way of saying good-bye for the thousandth time...


I still remember the day
you asked me to write you
I had my heart on my sleeve
And just couldn't say 'no'. 

We'd each sworn to always
be there for the other
Said if something happened
We'd never move on


Chorus:
Got one thing right
I'll never be the same
But was it worth it
Giving my heart away?
When I didn't really mean it
All those times I said
Not going anywhere; I'll be here
Forever and always.


We never saw it coming
that day in July
Took us by surprise
completely blindsided

Still reeling from the shock
Of a love now lost
Never to return
Forever gone from view. 

Chorus


You'll always be with me
As one more thing on the list
of all those things I regret
and wish I could forget

But now you're gone
Never to return
And to my surprise
I find I've moved on


So I Got one thing Right
I'll never be the same
But it wasn't worth it
Giving my heart away
Since I didn't really mean it
The countless times I said
Not going anywhere, I'll be here
Forever and always

No, it wasn't worth it.

Intro

One day in my eleventh grade english class, I randomly started writing a poem.  I knew something big was about to happen in my life, and I was tired of waiting to find out what it was.  On this particular day, I had less than 24 hours left to wait.  I began thinking about how impatient I was for 'tomorrow'; this is what resulted

Tomorrow

Will you ever come...

And I can't remember the rest at the moment; sorry. That will come later.  Anyway...I liked what I'd written, so I submitted it to my school's literary magazine.  It was accepted. 

Ever since, then, I've kinda been obseessed with song/poem writing.  Most of my stuff resembles poems more than songs, but still...I haven't yet had much practice.  Anyway, I was listening to some new music, and just thinking about things, and I felt the beginnings of a song coming on...so I decided to create a place where I could post my song lyrics; hopefully get some critiques on them...so yes. Please, please, please critique.  The only way I can refine my lyrics is to get honest feedback on them.

No haters please, but feel free to offer worthwhile criticism.